Revised: Money is Everything

Writing topic:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Money is everything? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

       Nowadays almost no people can live without money. Although we cannot use money to do everything, we almost cannot do everything without money. So, does money is everything? Of course money is very important because it supports our daily lives, and it is also the foundation of education. The most important thing is that it connects with our lives. They are the three main ideas that support that money is everything.

    First, money supports our daily lives. All the food we eat and all the daily necessaries we use need money. Second, it supports our desires. People have unlimited wants and money can help us get our desires. Last, it also supports our interests. Everyone has interests, and most of them need money. For example, collecting model toys, or playing video games. So money supports our demand. The second main idea is education. All the educational equipment and teaching environment need money. The more money we have, the better education we have. Moreover, if we have enough money, we can study abroad. We do not need to worry about money, so we can concentrate our attention on learning. Studying abroad is a good way to broaden our horizons and knowledge. Last but not the least, money can improve our lives. Money is an important part of social intercourse. No matter we join a club or an activity, it needs money. If we have money, we do not need to die for money. We can get much more free time and freedom to do what we really want to do. Thus, we can pursue our dreams. There is no denying that money connects with our life deeply.

    Those three main ideas are the reasons why I think money is everything to us. This is a trend that people rely on money deeper and deeper, and it is difficult to change. I think it is not a bad thing to view money as everything. After all, it depends on how we use money. 

Reflection:

   I learned that personal pronouns should be the same in the writing. It is important to make personal pronouns consistent for reader to read easier. I will not make the same mistake again.